Well, they say write what you know.
Let's face it, every girl out there has a touch of crazy. Some more, some less than others, but it's definitely there...waiting. Waiting for an event that will trigger the crazy and cause it to fly in someone's direction at terrifying speeds. When prompted, my crazy comes at you like a tornado of honey badgers and insecurity.
Let's face it, every girl out there has a touch of crazy. Some more, some less than others, but it's definitely there...waiting. Waiting for an event that will trigger the crazy and cause it to fly in someone's direction at terrifying speeds. When prompted, my crazy comes at you like a tornado of honey badgers and insecurity.
Probably decent advice.
As you might have guessed, this crazy is most often brought about by men. To be fair, they often deserve it. Fellas, y'all do and say some stupid, stupid shit. When you sleep with your girlfriends cousin, you shouldn't be shocked when she super glues your junk to the inside of your leg while you sleep, you know, to keep it out of trouble. I have a friend (The Bombshell) who gave away a particularly skeezy guy's belonging to a homeless man after finding out that he had a girlfriend in a different city.
Oh these shoes? They're Prada. Thanks for noticing!
My crazy doesn't usually come out to play, but when it does, it is more often a different flavor than revenge-crazy. Mine comes out when I'm not confident in a relationship that I'm really into. It results when I have absolutely no hand. Just...none. I turn into the girl who looks longingly at her phone every 20 minutes, and then judges herself for being a needy piece of shit. However, I have a special skill for keeping my crazy under wraps...as far as the guy knows. It usually goes something like this:
Me: Hey! I was thinking it would be fun to (ENTER AMAZINGLY AWESOME DATE IDEA HERE) tomorrow. What do you think?
Dude: Sounds fun, but I actually I have a thing tomorrow. Maybe the day after?
Me: Yeah, that sounds great, I'll talk to you later!
[Immediate call to The Duchess]
Me: I asked him to go to (AWESOME DATE) tomorrow and he can't cause he has "a thing." WHAT THE FUCK IS "A THING?" AND IS SHE PRETTIER THAN ME?
The Duchess: Men are just non-specific and he's probably playing basketball or some shit. You are insane. Calm down.
Me: BUT...but...yeah I know. Ok, I think it's passed.
The point is, girl crazy happens. Often our brains work in such a way that we are constantly thinking about every possible interpretation of a word or phrase until we have imagined the most negative, unlikely situation and convinced ourselves that it's definitely, definitely what's happening. Guys don't do this. I used to not believe them when they said that they can be sitting quietly and literally not thinking about anything. At all. If possible, they under-think things.
Me: Hey! I was thinking it would be fun to (ENTER AMAZINGLY AWESOME DATE IDEA HERE) tomorrow. What do you think?
Dude: Sounds fun, but I actually I have a thing tomorrow. Maybe the day after?
Me: Yeah, that sounds great, I'll talk to you later!
[Immediate call to The Duchess]
Me: I asked him to go to (AWESOME DATE) tomorrow and he can't cause he has "a thing." WHAT THE FUCK IS "A THING?" AND IS SHE PRETTIER THAN ME?
The Duchess: Men are just non-specific and he's probably playing basketball or some shit. You are insane. Calm down.
Me: BUT...but...yeah I know. Ok, I think it's passed.
The point is, girl crazy happens. Often our brains work in such a way that we are constantly thinking about every possible interpretation of a word or phrase until we have imagined the most negative, unlikely situation and convinced ourselves that it's definitely, definitely what's happening. Guys don't do this. I used to not believe them when they said that they can be sitting quietly and literally not thinking about anything. At all. If possible, they under-think things.
Oh, look! There's Sandy over there with her ex-boyfriend outside a motel. It's nice that they stayed friends. I thought she was supposed to be having lunch with her mom? Must have had a change of plans.
I have managed to harness my crazy so it's usually only unleashed on unsuspecting friends and, occasionally, strangers (to all of whom I sincerely apologize). But the crazy passes, and after it does, we feel so much better. So if you're involved with a girl suffering from insecure-crazy, you'll probably never even know it. If you're dealing with a girl with revenge-crazy, well...you probably deserve it.
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