Dear Lady Doctor,

This morning was fun. As fun as those visits can be. I always enjoy our yearly dates. You warm the speculum for me, and that really means a lot. Seriously, when you have something shoved up your chalupa it's far more pleasant when it's not 19 degrees.
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Mmmmm, toasty
But there is something that I need to talk to you about.

Some people are uncomfortable with male gynos. I for one, am not. If a man loves vagina THAT MUCH, I feel like mine is safe in his gloved, lubed hands.

However.

You're a talker. Which is fine! I'll chat with you about the weather, upcoming vacations, work, and any other variation of general small-talk that you make with someone that you know, but are not actually "friends" with. But there is really a time and a place for this kind of prattle.
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And this isn't it.
You have ample time before and after the actual exam, but for some reason you wait until you are staring straight into my cervix before you ask about my Nana's birthday party.
Picture
This is a tulip. Have you seen a cervix? They're pretty fucking gross.
I'm not really sure what to do when this happens. Do I shush you? Just mumble something and pray that you'll stop talking? Start working my kegels and make this little adventure a tad more challenging for you?

I don't know.

Lets consider this my official request to enact a new rule during our time together. When legs open, mouths shut.

Love,

Cassie

P.S. I really appreciated it when you told me that I had a great looking cervix. Careful though- don't want it to get too cocky.

HAHAHA, see what I did there? Seriously though, I'd like it to be a little cockier.
Amy
5/27/2011 04:19:37 pm

Ha ha ha. Love the PS. Maybe I won't post a link on our "family" blog. But, I will read religiously.

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