The Weight Room Caveman
Um, yeaaaaah. How do I put this? You need to stop making sex sounds while you work out. You're making everyone uncomfortable.
Oh- and khakis/jeans aren't appropriate in a gym. Buy some fucking gym shorts.
The Yoga Masters
When I first started doing the yoga thing, I HATED these people in class. You know- the ones that are slightly ahead of the curve and can do more advanced poses than everyone else, usually with a cool, collected look on their face.
Oh, but if you're better than me and show me up, you're pretty much a dick.
Moving on to my least favorite of the work-out brigade.
Fitness Class Cheerleaders
Now, I understand that there will be peppy mo-fos in some classes. I mean, if I was doing some step aerobics, I'd probably expect someone with an extra-high ponytail and leg warmers to shout out motivational nonsense.
When I'm doing a class that involves barbells, bands, and various other forms of torture, there should be NO chipper outbursts in my vicinity.
My class on Wednesdays involves a lot of lifting weights, and an instructor that I am 87% sure is a Nazi sympathizer. She is a tiny muscly blonde woman who varies between shouting out repetition counts and yelling vague threats when you're caught resting. She also enjoys shouting things like, Y'ALL WANNA DO ONE MORE SET?!? DOES SILENCE MEAN YES???
A) No. Silence doesn't fucking mean "yes." Silence means that we are all so tired that we can't breathe, much less respond to you, you crazy ho-bag.
B) There is always that one a-hole who is all WOOO! YES! COME ON GUYS! LET'S DO IT!
But if you break an ankle *accidentally* tripping over my foot I'm not exactly going to cry about it.
Alas, the things we must endure for physical perfection. That, and the ability to eat an entire pizza in one sitting.